Bathroom Instructions for Men

One inescapable fact of road trippin’ is the frequentation of public restrooms. Unlike other public places, public restrooms aren’t regulated by a central authority that provides oversight on matters such as cleanliness, sanitation and ensuring that the rolls are never empty. Fortunately, most places do a stand-up job keeping their restrooms clean and fresh smelling. Some are so cared for – murals, furniture, flowers, real towels and good lighting – that it’s almost difficult to leave them.

On the other hand, public restrooms sometimes serve as snapshots of humanity at its worst, so far as men are concerned. I can’t speak to ladies’ rooms, since I never visit them. But for men, experience has compelled some business owners to provide them with special instructions for proper lavatory upkeep.

Treating a public restroom as a palace rather than a litter box – or mess hall – ensures not only a sparkling fresh facility for subsequent users, but spares those responsible for clean-up from having to breakout the HAZMAT suit. Here are a few of the specialty signs I’ve found taped to restroom walls along the way.